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making out with strangers

from Do You Know Who Your Friends Are? by HorribleGirl

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about

I'm trying to internalize the fact that relapse is a part of recovery.

I've started to think that i'll never be one of those perfectly sober people who go to AA meetings regularly and lives , and I think that's okay.

I've made a lot of bad decisions fueled by copious amounts of alcohol, but for the first time in a long time, I feel like I have a degree of control.

this song, in short, is about the cycle of relapse and recovery.

please, if you ever feel like you need help with your substance use, or substance dependency, don't hesitate to reach out for help <3

lyrics

it's like 3 a.m. and i don't know if the shaking is ever going to end

if i tried I could win the Nobel prize for my work; outstanding in the field of bad decisions- I could be the Jackie O of making out with strangers
I can do it all

You can tell from the foam in my throat and i can tell from the blood on the floor that i am not in control anymore and I'm scared i'm going to lose this war

i swear i've done it all before
and i'll probably do it all again

i've been eating fast food for, like, a month
and my friends think i've been smoking way too much
but i think i just need to catch my breath

maybe we are cogs in a machine,
designed to feed off fear and apathy but i'm sure
that you've heard it all before

You can tell from the foam in my throat and i can tell from the blood on the floor that i am not in control anymore and I'm scared i'm going to lose this war

every time i've spent the day sick in bed thinking "where is my mind?"
every time i say i'm gonna quit and then i don't "where is my spine"
with your feet on the air and your head on the ground, "where is my mind?" "this is the last time, this is the last time this is the last time"

where is my mind?
where is your spine?

credits

from Do You Know Who Your Friends Are?, released May 19, 2019

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HorribleGirl Greenville, South Carolina

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